


library guy.

by oceandawn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Letter, M/M, Scientist!Magnus, Strangers to Lovers, a bit of angst, but mostly idiots falling in love, swimmer!alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 12:46:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceandawn/pseuds/oceandawn
Summary: Alec writes a letter to Magnus, wanting to ask one simple question, and through it, he remembers the four years they've shared together.It all started with a library, a nickname, and the hope to fall in love.





	library guy.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [howlingsaturn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlingsaturn/gifts).



> the HAPPIEST of birthdays to you, Jay! please enjoy this little thing I've written for you. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me during the short months I've known you. I hope you have an awesome day, and that this brings a smile to your face! there's something else for you at the end, too :')
> 
> (not beta'd)

> _ Dear Magnus, _
> 
> _ I remember the day we met as if it were yesterday. That may sound rude, or at least, I’m not sure if it does, but my life has moved so fast since meeting you. _
> 
> _ I thought my years of University would be forgetful, that I’d meet ‘friends’ to keep for years compared to my younger years, but you were different-- we were different. _
> 
> _ Is it cheesy to say love at first sight? Maybe, but that’s the way it feels, looking back. I feel like now is a good time as any to take that second to look back and think of what we’ve been through. It’s all changing now, but still feels as if we’re just getting to know each other. _

_ \- - - - - _

_ 4 YEARS AGO _

Magnus turns with less grace in his steps than he’d like, looking down to the few books he’s managed to find. He has no idea if they’re the right ones just yet, but only time will tell once he takes them back home. 

But he’s not looking where he’s going, and those very books he spent almost an hour trying to find tumble to the floor.

“Shit,” speaks a voice, the person already leaning down in front of Magnus to pick up the books he’s caused to fall. “I’m so sorry.”

He blinks, the shock a little nauseating, at least until his brain manages to kick back into gear, Magnus kneeling down as well to help pick up the books.

“No, it’s my fault,” Magnus replies, watching as the stranger picks up the books on his side, noticing Magnus is picking up the ones nearer to him. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Magnus hears a small laugh, the man looking up to see him, but Magnus isn’t looking back.

“I can see that, seems you have a long list of reading.” As he stands, he readjusts how he’s holding the books, waiting for Magnus to stand.

And that’s when the stranger’s face drops, almost stunned. This time, Magnus is there to catch it, hand hovering above the books the man offers towards him.

Clearing his throat, Magnus smiles, the man blinking in reply before his own smile appears.

“You’re right, one can never be too sure when it comes to studying.” Magnus knows he’s not making sense, but it’s a little difficult when the man smiling back at him is so bright, a little taller, and seemingly stunned himself.

It takes the stranger another second to realise he’s spoken to him.

_ “Oh,  _ yeah.” he stutters, nodding when Magnus takes his books back. “Sorry again, by the way. I also wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Magnus doesn’t believe him, but the innocent smile he wears tells a different story, one he feels he’d like to hear. Either way, he’s left clutching his books tighter. They don’t really know what to say to each other, since they’re both complete strangers.

“I’m sure you’re just saying that, but thank you for helping me pick them back up,” replies Magnus, lifting his books to gesture towards them. The stranger looks to the titles, squints, and then looks back to Magnus’ face.

“Well, if you’re studying, then I wish you luck,” he says, nodding over his own shoulder. “I still need to find mine.”

Ah, so another student, perhaps?

“Make sure you look where you’re going,” teases Magnus, smiling brighter when the stranger laughs, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I will,” he leaves the silence to grow a few seconds. “Good luck to you, too.”

“Thank you, stranger.” 

As he walks past Magnus, he feels the air grow strangely cold, snapping back to warmth when the stranger’s voice appears again.

“Hey, what’s your name?” The stranger asks, curious with his words.

Magnus turns around, the stranger half turned to him, the question a decision he decided to make halfway down the selected corridor of science books. He feels like his tongue ties itself, wanting to answer as the smile on the stranger’s face slowly dwindles with each passing second.

“Magnus,” he replies, the stranger’s smile returning. “And yours?”

He looks away, thinking, before turning back to Magnus.

“Alec.”

\- - - - -

> _ Your name was so unique to me. I've never heard of the name Magnus before, and at the beginning I thought that was the reason why I'd wanted to see you again. _
> 
> _ I was curious. I wanted to ask where you got that name from, what course you were studying, why you even spoke back to me. I'm used to it from Uni, but not strangers, not people who don't know who I am. _
> 
> _ You apologised when it wasn't even your fault, and I know we argue to this day about who exactly is to blame, but it's me. _
> 
> _ I noticed you through a gap in the books on the other side. Sounds like a cheesy rom com, I know, but it's the truth. _
> 
> _ I wanted to go speak to you, so I mustered the courage to go, hoping you'd know who I am if you have access to the University's library. _
> 
> _ But you didn't say anything. We were strangers. _
> 
> _ And for the first time, I didn't want to be. _

\- - - - -

_ TWO WEEKS AFTER THE FIRST MEETING _

There's a little hope inside of him, he'll admit that. Magnus hasn't been able to come back to the library in weeks, considering his lecturer has put twice the usual amount of coursework in one week.

He'd complain, but it has to be done, and there's no way out of it if he wants to achieve his dream. Magnus is a genius, and he's going to save lives one day, but there's one person he's had on his mind since two weeks ago.

Alec, or  _ library guy _ as he's dubbed him to Catarina multiple times. She's found him lost in thought, and he only ever gets that way when it involves  _ someone  _ that's on his mind.

Of course, he hasn't revealed anything yet, but he's hoping that one day he'll have an excuse to tell her.

Who is he kidding, though? Believing that a random guy he bumped into in a library will become something more, it's far beyond dreaming. That's soulmate level, and Magnus draws the line at believing in the impossible.

He's been broken too many times, unspoken promises he never wants to hear in hopes they'll be true, because the world hasn't been kind to him.

But  _ god,  _ that won’t stop Magnus from giving back to the world. Just because life has been hard to him doesn't mean he'll step on people to get what he wants.

His mother didn't raise him that way, for how long she was here.

_ I'll always be proud of you, my little angel. _

Pushing through the library doors, the distinct whining of hydraulics sounding behind him as they close, the distinct smell of books and quiet atmosphere welcomes him.

Compared to the laser focus of his lectures and the busy nature of the University itself, the library is a peaceful ground between the two. A temporary surrender between work and leisure.

He's constantly reminding himself that he's  _ not  _ looking for Alec, because he's here to return his books and nothing more. The lecturer hasn't sent new reading material yet, as per usual, so he's got no excuse to be here otherwise.

But as the librarian scans his books back in, he's left with an inkling, a thought that slowly starts to spread to reality. If the lecturer hasn't given them new material to study, then he can always expand his knowledge anyway, or pick up a novel so he can sink into another world after a long day.

As she gives Magnus the clear, the librarian wishes him a good day, and Magnus returns it with his own well wishes.

He adjusts the glasses on his nose, having them slightly fall down again as he rummages through his bag for his phone. Luke is always reading in his spare time, so perhaps he has some recommendations.

Luke, or  _ Lucian,  _ is in a neighbouring University and doesn't get to see him often, but they met when Magnus was living with Catarina during their teen years. So now, they're close friends, almost brothers, because Magnus always holds his close friends even closer, to love them as if they were his own flesh and blood.

As Magnus is about to bring up his conversation with Luke, he's looking straight ahead on the second floor, surveying the area until he spots a familiar silhouette.

It's the same wild hair he bumped into, leaning over the desk into crossed arms, face hidden away, headphones in. Another University student succumbs to fatigue.

Magnus stands there, suddenly frozen at the fact that he's actually there, real and not just a careless daydream. Maybe it's a little sappy to call this stranger a daydream, but he  _ did  _ have a beautiful smile if his memory checks up.

And before he knows it, Magnus is next to him, reaching down to remove an earbud slowly, not being able to move it far because of the way the wire is wrapped in his little sleep bundle.

The textbook that claimed his slumber is open on what seems to be sports physiology, and Magnus suddenly wonders if he  _ is  _ on a sports team for the University, because someone with that amount of height is bound to be a star if he is.

"Need a hand?" Magnus says, and as he thought, the distinct lack of the same sound in both ears accompanied by a new one slowly awakens the slumbering library guy.

Alec blinks a few times as he lifts his head, just slightly, enough for his brain to catch up that's fallen asleep at the timely hour of 11:00am. And then he’s sitting straight, numbly looking up to Magnus as he smiles down at him.

It’s natural for Alec to smile back, even though his hair is sticking up in places, and he’s not even sure if he’s been drooling while sleeping.

“Oh, Magnus, right?” He says, rubbing a hand over his face to try and pull the mask of sleep away.

_ He remembers,  _ Magnus thinks, smile growing ever brighter.

“Yes! Nice to see you again, Alec.”

Alec himself seems to perk up at the fact Magnus remembered his name, too. He quickly pulls out his other headphone, placing them both onto the book as Magnus starts speaking again.

“Long night?” Magnus asks, wanting to start a conversation. “Sorry if this was meant to be your power nap or something.”

“Nah,” Alec laughs under his breath, fighting the yawn he feels creeping up his throat. “I have to read up on this section before my mock exam later today. I didn’t manage to sleep well because I got home late from working.”

While Alec is talking, Magnus pulls out a chair to sit down at the same table, Alec doesn’t seem bothered by that, only a quick glance and a shy smile.

“Working?” He then notices Alec is wearing the same jacket he was two weeks ago, a logo on the sleeve that’s terribly familiar, but he can’t name. 

Alec sees that he’s looking, and points to it. “Swim team.”

“Oh,” Magnus looks back to Alec’s face, sees how he’s already starting to look awake again. “I knew that jacket looked familiar.”

“Not a sports fan?” 

“I enjoy it from time to time, but I’m not one to take part in it,” answers Magnus, crossing his arms on the table. “Must be difficult juggling exams and the team.”

Alec looks from Magnus’ face to his hands, lingers, then looks back to his book.

“Yeah, if I don’t keep my grades up they’ll kick me. You know, that usual movie storyline. It’s difficult, but it keeps me on my toes, keeps me active and my parents from that disappointed sigh.” And then he wishes he could take back those words back. “Sorry, I’m rambling. I think this is the exhaustion talking.”

Magnus can’t help but laugh, playing with the cuff on his ear as Alec runs his hand through his hair. So he’s an athlete  _ and  _ handsome, he’s certainly just a daydream.

“Don’t worry about that, to be honest, I was hoping I’d see you again.” Magnus is never a man to shy away from the truth. 

Alec, though, stills. Perhaps he said something wrong, but Alec takes longer to reply, smile weaker than Magnus had hoped it would be.

“You did?”

He rolls a ring around his finger, not sure if he should continue. “You wished me luck, remember?”

Something in his expression drops, and Magnus wants to reach out and take it back.

“Oh, I did.” Alec’s smile returns, but it’s quite faint. “Did it work?”

Magnus nods, readjusts his glasses and sits them on top of his head, some of his fringe falling to the side. “Passed with flying colours,” he says, a glint of happiness in his voice, “Just a test, though. But it’s always good to see results even if it’s not the real one.”

Alec seems more relaxed now, taking a deep breath as he looks back to his own book. “Wow, well, I wish I could do that for myself.”

“Wish you luck?” Magnus replies, curious.

“Yeah,” he sniffs, closing the book after removing his headphones. “I think I’m gonna need it.”

“Then,” Magnus takes out his phone, “Let me be the person to wish you luck.”

Silence lingers between them after that, but Alec’s smile as he looks up to Magnus speaks more words to the dreaming scientist than any other.

“Thank you,” he says, a gentle laugh sounding through parted lips.

“Say,” gesturing his phone towards Alec, Alec blanks as he switches focus between Magnus and the phone. “How about we exchange numbers? That way you don’t have to wait two weeks to tell me if my well wishes worked.”

Alec finds himself fishing out his own phone before his shaking heart can say otherwise. “Sure.” As he takes Magnus’ phone, he nervously watches Magnus put his number into Alec’s, a smile he lingers too long in watching, having to quickly input his own when Magnus catches him staring.

“There you are.” Offering back Alec’s phone, the swimmer smiles, staring at the eleven digits before putting it back into his pocket.

“No, thank you. It’ll be nice to talk to you about this stuff. My other friends don’t really take this whole exam thing seriously. Not that I’m assuming anything, of course.” Alec’s stumbling over his words, and Magnus can’t help but notice how much he smiles when he’s doing so, as if he’s finally talking freely, as if he’s not used to doing it. “I just remember you had those science books, so am I right in thinking you’re a science major, or just incredibly intelligent?” 

Magnus finds his curiosity endearing. “You’re quite right, yes. I’m a science major, mostly biology and psychology. 

“Ah, well, I’m a sports major as you’ve probably guessed by now,  _ almost  _ captain of the swim team.” Alec takes a deep breath, and to Magnus’ dismay, he seems to be packing his stuff away. It’s a rather large bag, sports branded,  _ obviously.  _ “You’re actually a lifesaver, I was about to miss my training session if you didn’t wake me up.”

Something flutters in Magnus’ stomach when Alec says that. “I hope to be, one day.”

Alec pauses, tilts his head, “Oh, yeah?” Magnus nods, his smile warming Alec more than he’ll admit to himself. “That’s cool.”

“I don’t get  _ that  _ often,” he replies, stomach sinking when Alec zips his bag up and stands.

“I doubt that, Magnus. You seem pretty cool to me.”

His mind goes blank. Magnus shouldn’t be affected by the words  _ pretty cool,  _ but Alec sounds so sure about it. There’s not much to say as Alec goes to leave, but Magnus isn’t left in silence for long. Even as he gets his laptop out, pen ready to make some notes he might as well make ready for the next bit of coursework, Alec is still there, biting his lip this whole time.

“Magnus?” Alec speaks once more, adjusting his sports bag on his shoulder.

“Mmm?” Hums Magnus, turning round, moving the pen between his fingers as his laptop wakes up.

“I was hoping I’d see you too.”

\- - - - -

Wiping the towel across his face, Alec takes a deep breath, head tipped back as his coach makes his way inside the changing rooms. 

“Good work today, Lightwood,” he places his hand against his back, a firm pat. “Your times are getting quicker by the day, scouts will no doubt pick you up towards next year.”

Alec smiles at the news, but dread slowly creeps back to him as the exam beckons closer every minute he stands there. But, he has luck this time, from none other than smart, handsome library guy. 

Reaching for his phone in his jacket pocket, he brings up Magnus’ contact, naming it something incredibly similar to what Magnus has, and texts him. Little does he know, Magnus has done the same.

_ Alec, Library Guy: [just got out of practice. looks like your well wishes got me faster times too] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [I’m quite magical.] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [But my well wishes aren’t cheap.] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [oh? what does that mean?] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [That you have to come with me for lunch after your exam.] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [I know it’s going to be around 3pm when you get out, but I doubt you’ve eaten if you’ve just had practice.] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [your price is making me eat? that’s not very business savvy] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [No, I’m a scientist, not a businessman. I care about your health. I have no doubt you do too if you’re reaching for an athletic career.] _

Well, he’s not wrong. Juggling these exams and his sports career isn’t easy, and sometimes he loses track, but it’s heartwarming to know this complete stranger actually cares. Or, it’s that he could see how exhausted Alec was this morning, how falling asleep at 11:00am cram revising isn’t exactly healthy for an inspiring athlete.

_ Alec, Library Guy: [ok, you win. but if you’re gonna drag me out to eat, i’d like to request we go to that small bar outside of campus. i get discount.] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [A bar? Is that healthy for 3pm?] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [i dont drink, anyway. the food there is just really nice, and like i said, discounts. i’m a student, i use them anywhere i can] _

Someone is shouting in the changing room, and it jolts Alec from his bubble. One of his teammates notices.

“What’s got you smiling, Lightwood?” Raj asks, chippery himself.

“Ah, some guy,” he explains, nonchalant, then realises that out of everyone, he shouldn’t have said it in front of Raj.

“A  _ guy?  _ Damn, I didn’t think anything could make you smile except beating me in the pool.”

“Yeah, well,” Alec laughs, turnings towards him, “You’re getting better, I’ll admit.”

Raj punches his shoulder playfully. “Shut up, Lightwood. Let’s hope if you do date this guy, he knocks you down a few pegs.”

_ “I’m not _ \-- It’s not like that.” 

“Then what is it?” Questions Raj, putting on a shirt. “Is it  _ I kinda like him but does he like me?  _ Or is it the  _ I have a crush on you but I’m insanely flat when it comes to dating.”  _ The next thing he knows, is the wet towel being thrown at him.

A sound of disgust leaves his lips, then he laughs, seeing Alec turned with his back to him. 

“Whatever, Raj. Go bother your own boyfriend, I honestly don’t know how he puts up with you.” He’s turning back to him, pointing at Raj and stopping him just before he begins to answer exactly why. “Not a word.”

“Alright, but at least give me a name.”

“No.”

“Tsk, you’re no fun at all.” Raj throws his bag over his shoulder, watches as Alec smiles at his phone again.

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [I’ll meet you there. :)] _

\- - - - -

_ Alec L: [i’m coming over after my mock exam, i’m bringing someone with me] _

_ Maia: [alec lightwood, are you telling me something here] _

_ Maia: [do i have to prepare candles] _

_ Alec L: [NO] _

_ Alec L: [we’re just coming for food] _

_ Maia: [alright, but what’s his name] _

_ Alec L: [with how many childhood stories you know of me, i’m not telling you anything] _

\- - - - -

> _ The day we exchanged numbers, I remember being lost for words. You literally asked me out of the blue, and I was so nervous about saying yes. I’ve never had someone ask me except clueless girls, but there you were, smiling with those glasses I love and this-- aura that you have. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as I saw you, I felt more alive, like I could take on the world. _
> 
> _ I am, right now, thanks to you. But my world is much more than trophies and how fast I can go from one end of the pool to another. _
> 
> _ My world is also you, how much I love you, how much I admire you and want to be with you, even if I’m a championship swimmer and there’s an ocean between us.  _
> 
> _ I think I knew it that day, that I wanted to be with you, as a friend and hopefully one day, something more. Maia bugged me about asking you on a date, and when that fateful day came, it felt like a dream. You always say how meeting me didn’t feel real, but honestly, Magnus, nothing is more real than the love I have for you. _

\- - - - -

_ FOUR WEEKS AFTER NUMBERS EXCHANGED _

“Is that your boy?” Catarina asks, munching on one of her salad boxes she’s taken with her to class.

Magnus startles, taking a moment to turn and catch Catarina’s smug smile. He must have a smile himself, because otherwise, how would Catatarina know he’s texting Alec?

“He’s not  _ my boy,”  _ argues Magnus, “Just someone I met.”

“Sure, Magnus. I haven’t seen you smile like that since I got you those tickets to see that play.” Catarina giggles to herself, amused, Magnus swiftly ignoring her by looking back to his laptop.

But he really,  _ really,  _ wants to see what Alec has texted him. He will, he’s just going to have to hide his smile so Catarina doesn’t tease him further. Magnus would be lying if he said he didn’t find it amusing himself, though.

So Catarina eats her salad in victory as Magnus turns back to his phone, a smile slowly growing, studying forgotten.

_ Alec, Library Guy: [so there’s this movie i wanna see and nobody wants to go with me] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [i was hoping you’d er] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [like to go with re?} _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [*me] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [i know you’re busy but just thought i’d ask] _

Magnus’ heart skips when the first words that come to mind are hopeful ones. He can’t stop the smile as he types them back to Alec.

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [Is this a date?] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [what? no] _

The disappointment that sinks his smile doesn’t last for long, though, because Alec quickly lifts him back up again. 

_ Alec, Library Guy: [i mean, if you want it to be] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [thats what i was meant to ask the first time but i got nervous, so] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [would you like to go on a date with me?] _

“Told you,” whispers Catarina, making Magnus  _ jump  _ out of his skin. “He sounds cute.”

“Can you not do that, Cat?” Magnus rubs a hand across his chest, feeling his blood settle after such a scare.

He’s been glued to his phone for the past few minutes, it seems, and in that time Catarina decided to see for herself what this new guy is about. Magnus has only ever mentioned that he met someone rather cute at the library, and when he didn’t share any details, Catarina knew there was no use nudging him about it.

She knows Magnus is scared to see people after his past relationship, and to have this guy make Magnus smile like  _ this,  _ it’s something Catarina wants to work. If Alec really is a nice guy, and he  _ does  _ like Magnus, then she hopes Magnus allows himself to let Alec in.

“What?” she replies, moving back to her seat as she talks, “You wouldn’t tell me anything about this mystery guy, so I wanted to see what has you smiling like a lovestruck teenager.”

_ Love,  _ Magnus thinks, the word making his stomach churn. He really doesn’t like that word anymore.

“I would’ve told you about him eventually.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” There’s something in her tone that makes Magnus look at her, and the smile she sends back only assures that his thoughts are correct.

_ You’re scared, and I know. _

Magnus smiles back, looking back down to his phone, realising he’s left Alec hanging. He can imagine how much his leg is bouncing, how he’s probably frowning at his phone, worrying himself to death about having ruined something that’s only just starting to grow.

Even if Magnus is a man of patience, he’s not for the spark he feels inside.

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [It’s a date, then.] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [Tomorrow at 8?] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [ yeah] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [i mean yes, please. there’s actually a showing then. that’s perfect] _

_ Magnus (smart handsome library guy): [Okay, I’ll meet you there! Cinema near our University, right?] _

_ Alec, Library Guy: [yes! I’ll meet you there :)] _

Catarina watches Magnus sigh, hugging the phone to his chest. She hasn’t seen him like this since he was young, like when they played board games all night and read each other stories. Perhaps this is the person Magnus needs to make him feel like himself again, the grace he once had in his heart, the love he had for the world that he still very much has, but only just burning bright enough to notice.

If this stranger can make Magnus this excited for a  _ movie  _ when his finals are around the corner, then god help them when they confess whatever feelings grow from spending time together, or just  _ knowing  _ one another.

And as Magnus places his phone to the side, he looks to his childhood friend, the friend that saved him when no one else would, and smiles.

“I’m going on a date.” 

“I know you are,” she chuckles, Magnus rolling his eyes as he picks up his pen, ready to take more notes from his revision. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” he says, glee bubbling in his chest, “really. It means the world that you are.”

“He seems special.” 

Magnus finds himself lost in what to reply, but his late smile says it all, speaks more words than he can right now.

_ I think he is. _

_ \- - - - - _

_ Alec L: [holy shit maia, it worked] _

_ Maia: [told you, idiot! Im happy for you] _

_ Maia: [now you owe me] _

_ Alec L: [add it to the list] _

_ Maia: [you know I am] _

_ \- - - - - _

> _ That day I texted you to ask you on that date, I remember kicking myself starting it out that way. I should’ve just asked you on a date, not pretend I had no friends. To be honest, though, at that time I didn’t have many, just Maia and the casual group of pretend friends for sport club social status, I guess. _
> 
> _ I remember when I told you I was on the swim team, and your face when you realised that you have seen me before was priceless. You told me that Catarina works on the University’s journal team, and she actively writes about all of the success of our teams.  _
> 
> _ But yeah, our first date. _
> 
> _ It was amazing. You looked incredible, and my skinny jeans and blue shirt were no match. I literally felt so bad that you looked so effortless and I looked like I’d tossed on the shirt I found on my floor. That’s not true, by the way, I did wash that shirt the day before. _
> 
> _ I couldn’t focus on the movie. You were sat next to me, the guy I had this insane crush on, a guy I’d met at the library because I stumbled into you, literally. But I could feel you weren’t, either, and I remember the exact second of the movie when you turned to me, smiled, and then turned back. _
> 
> _ It’s stupid. I know it is, but I had no hope of paying attention after that. _
> 
> _ And then the movie finished, and it was time to part ways. I felt sick, for some reason, and I still don’t know why to this day. _

_ \- - - - - _

“I enjoyed that,” Magnus starts, breaking the silence as they walk with the crowd from the room, everyone discussing what they thought of the movie. “Better than the last one.”

Alec clears his throat, not knowing what to say in return. He wasn’t focused on the movie at all. He’s been trying to stop himself from reaching out for his hand for the hour and twenty four minutes he was in there. And yes, he’s been counting.

“You think so? I’m not sure.”

It’s a date, right? He  _ should _ have held his hand. Alec will have to invite him out again so he can do just that, at least that’s the excuse his wild heart gives him.

Magnus doesn’t seem too convinced by his reply, turning to him as they push through the double doors to the exit.

“Oh? You seemed glued to your seat,” Magnus teases, watching the moment Alec’s eyes widen, not sure if his nerves were showing that easily. He guesses they were. “Maybe we’ll have to watch it again.”

_ “Again?”  _ Alec coughs, bringing a hand to his mouth as he turns away, caught off guard by what that suggests. “Excuse me, did you say again?”

“Yes? If you’d like to go on another date,” and Alec blanks. How does he say that so effortlessly? “I enjoyed my time, your company,  _ even  _ if we didn’t talk much.”

Little does Alec know, Magnus is scared beyond what he’s comfortable saying. If he could see the way he’s twisting one of his rings round his fingers, any old friend of Magnus’ would know that’s one of his nervous ticks. 

_ Don’t sound eager, Alec. _

“Yes,” he replies, but then stumbles when he wants to elaborate. “I’ll have to check my timetable, my lecturer is changing dates again, but as soon as I know, I’ll text you.”

Magnus smiles at that, a sudden urge to step forward and hug him goodbye, but both of them are held by imaginary concrete.

Catarina saves him, rolling up next to them in Magnus' car as they stand facing each other. She pops her head out, giving a short wave to Alec, who waves back, wondering if this is the Catarina he’s mentioned before. 

“Alec!” She says, smiling as Magnus glares at her from the side. “So you’re library guy?”

_ Oh no.  _ The nickname he jokingly gave Alec on his phone is going to backfire, there’s no doubt.

But Alec is laughing, taking out his own phone and scrolling. It’s a few seconds before Alec reveals that he too, has called Magnus library guy.

“Handsome?” It slips before he can help himself. 

Alec freezes. “Uh, yeah. You are.”

Catarina looks between them both, smiling, and slowly rolls the car forward as they stare at each other’s contact names, laughing. By the time Magnus looks up, Catarina is long gone, and the text that comes through on Magnus’ phone makes him curse ever giving Catarina spare keys to his car.

_ Cat x: [I’m ageing waiting for you two to stop smiling at each other. Go grab a coffee with him or something, you don’t seem ready to go home.] _

“My ride just left me,” Magnus says, Alec internally claiming victory that he has more time to spend with him, but also dreading the next few minutes in case Magnus decides he doesn’t want to stay. “She’s a menace.”

“That was Catarina, right?”

“Yes, that’s my sister.” Magnus isn’t ready to share the rest.

Alec scratches the back of his neck, something Magnus notices he does often. A nervous gesture, perhaps? 

“I can give you a ride home?” Offers Alec, pulling his own car keys from his pocket. “Or do you live at halls?”

"I have a flat not far from Uni," answers Magnus, taking a step closer to Alec as he accepts his offer. "I’d appreciate that, thank you.”

\- - - - -

> _ That night I took you home, you were smiling out of the window, asking me where I’d got such a vintage car. I explained I worked on it with my sister, Isabelle, and that was the first time I opened up about my family. I told you my full name was Alexander, and from then on, you decided that ‘it suited me better, because it’s me.’ _
> 
> _ I thought you wouldn’t be looking at me when I turned to you, that you weren't interested, but your smile grew when I eventually did turn, and I almost missed braking for a red light. _
> 
> _ Your flat was small, I remember, but I didn’t step into it until two weeks after that first date. I didn’t even kiss you goodbye, I just smiled and wished you a good evening, and for a moment I saw you hesitate. _
> 
> _ I know that you wanted to kiss me, you told me a few weeks ago on our video call when you were wearing my team’s jacket, because that’s the one I always used to wear. I gave it to you that one night, and I never took it back. _
> 
> _ That was the night I knew I loved you. I did before, but then, I knew for sure. You were special, more than just a smart, handsome library guy. _

_ \- - - - - _

_ 2 MONTHS AFTER THE FIRST DATE _

Magnus and Alec have been meeting once a week at this point, sometimes for a date, sometimes to study together, sometimes just to eat at Maia’s bar. Alec lives on campus, so getting to study at Magnus’ flat is rather refreshing, especially when it’s so cozy.

Every decoration, every new detail Alec spots when he’s there is a little bit of Magnus he’s placed into this temporary home away from home. He feels rude, sometimes, that he’s occupying so much of Magnus’ free time, but then Magnus feels guilty for taking Alec’s. He could be training, and Magnus could be studying, but they bring a certain grace into each other’s life that makes it easy to have this time to themselves.

They’re dancing on the edge, both wanting to take the leap but standing back, scared that moving forward will ruin what they’ve held so closely for over three months now. 

So as Alec walks into the flat, Magnus holding the door open as he invites him in, he resists the urge to walk forward and kiss him. One day, he might, and that hope bubbles adrenaline to the tips of his fingers.

“God, Magnus, it’s freezing in here,” Alec says, already seeing his breath break through his teeth as he shivers.

“I’m sorry, my boiler broke,” Magnus hugs himself, guilty that he couldn’t convince Alec to study at his place this time. He didn’t want to think he was making excuses. “The people aren’t coming until tomorrow. I guess that’s the service you get for student housing.”

Alec clicks his tongue, also knowing how bad the staff at his own building is for fixing problems with his accommodation. He sees Magnus shiver, already in quite a few layers, but one more won’t harm him. “Here.” Shuffling his team jacket from his shoulders, Alec offers it to Magnus, and for a moment, Magnus just stares blankly at the garment.

“It’s yours.”

_ “Yes,  _ but you’re cold, and I already have a thick jumper on.” Alec gestures it towards him again. “Please, I don’t want to go outside again if you’re already cold in here, you’ll catch something.” And then Alec is looking away, almost blushing. “I mean, you probably already know that.”

“It’s still welcomed, Alexander,” Magnus smiles, taking the jacket and slowly starting to put it on. “It costs nothing to care, no matter how much I may know.”

Alec’s cheeks are still a little flush, either from the cold, winter months, or from Magnus’ charming smile. Alec knows which, maybe a bit of both, but definitely more Magnus.

As Magnus adjusts the jacket on his shoulders, he brushes his hands down the front, Magnus already feeling warm. Alec’s cologne clings to the jacket, a hint of chlorine, and it’s rather warming as he pulls the lapels, hugging it closer.

“It’s so comfy,” he says, and Alec’s mouth turns dry at the sight of Magnus turning around to show off how well it fits. The arms are a little tight, but it’s practically a perfect fit. “What do you think?”

“Wow,” Alec blanks, taking a step forward to pull the collar that’s folded by itself on accident. The blue and white decorations match the blue highlight in Magnus’ hair, the subtle blue eyeliner he’s got on. He looks--  _ stunning.  _ And when he turns around, Alec catches sight of the name  _ LIGHTWOOD  _ across the back, above the demon that represents their team logo, and Alec can’t find words.

He doesn’t think he ever will when it comes to Magnus.

“I’ll take your silence as a compliment?” Magnus teases, finding the interior padding incredibly warming already over his own jumper.

“Yeah, I-- I’m speechless. I mean, I usually am when it comes to you,” he starts, Alec finally confessing what feels like a secret he should be keeping, but Magnus deserves to know. “You’re so beautiful, Magnus, honestly.”

Magnus places a hand to his cheek, smiles as Alec does, and then turns away when he feels his body moving closer.

They study for a few hours, each taking turns to get the other a glass of water, and by 9pm, Alec has forgotten about time altogether. When Magnus returns with a glass in hand for him, Alec has fallen asleep on his bed, and Magnus feels his heart drop to his stomach.

He’s aware of Alec’s rigorous training schedule as nationals draw closer, but he didn’t imagine Alec would fall asleep so willingly. There hasn’t been a time where he has, not when Magnus has been with him.

But his face, sleeping soundly, free of worry and stress. Alec feels safe, comfortable enough to sleep here in the presence of Magnus, even though he had no intention to. 

Magnus places the glasses down on his bedside table, sinks to sit next to him slowly, making sure that the movement of the bed doesn’t stir him. He sees big dreams when Alec looks back to him, but as he sleeps, Magnus wonders if he dreams of them as Magnus does with his own wishes. Perhaps his nightmares are of loss, of not being able to achieve, to not be able to make his loved ones proud.

Cold rattles his spine, fingertips numb as they reach for Alec’s fringe, pushing it to the side, not having fixed it from earlier when he wrestled Magnus to get his pen back. He holds his cheek, wondering, wanting to be the one Alec chooses to dream  _ with. _

Leaning down, he places a single kiss against his temple, soft, silent and unbeknownst to Alec.

Or at least, that’s what he thought.

Because the soft melody of the music he’s been playing for the past hour is the only backing track to when Magnus meets Alec’s eyes.

Alec looks lost and found at the same time.

Magnus moves away, but Alec reaches back for him, pulls him back down.

And he’s kissing him, awkwardly but it’s happening, and Magnus’ heart blooms with so many colours and flowers he’s sure he’ll never find time to name them.

Science can’t explain how he feels, not when he falls to his own bed in Alec’s arms, a smile growing so bright on his face he can no longer kiss him. Magnus’ heart is close to bursting when he opens his eyes to Alec’s own smile, his tough yet gentle hands framing his face.

“You kissed me,” he says, and Magnus laughs.

“And you kissed me.” 

Alec places his forehead against his. “Yeah, I did.” He brushes his thumb across his cheek, kisses him one more time, softly, slowly.

_ \- - - - - _

> _ To open my eyes, to know you kissed me, I couldn’t stop myself. To have you kiss me back, I knew that from then on, I didn’t want anyone else, no one but the man I spotted through the gap in the books that has done nothing but make my life feel worth living. _
> 
> _ We didn’t study for the rest of that night, just laid there, kissing for all the time we missed, and when you finally fell asleep in my arms, I promised to you I’d learn to love, and I remember hearing that you’d learn to love again, for me, for us. _
> 
> _ The next morning you kissed me goodbye for the first time, and I skipped practice for the first time too so I could take you on a date. Maia finally got to place candles, and that night when you took my hand and kissed every knuckle, I felt more than special. _
> 
> _ I felt loved. _

_ \- - - - - _

_ 3RD YEAR SUMMER VACATION _

They haven’t said it, but they’re dating and everyone knows it. They’re dubbed the ‘kings’ of the University, with genius Magnus and swim captain Alec., bringing home trophies in both their respective fields.

Alec and Magnus both celebrate their birthdays together, their families colliding. Maia is now dating Isabelle, and Luke is now Alec’s personal coach. Their life has moved fast, and with graduation approaching, the future is uncertain, but they both know one thing; all these memories are theirs to hold, to write down in a book of their own some day, or to keep it to themselves and hope other people follow in their footsteps.

Magnus buys Alec a cassette tape, places a playlist on there for Alec to listen to before his races, or when his mind feels so wild he can’t bare to concentrate on his exams. It’s the same music that played when they kissed for the first time.

It’s been a year since they met, and the anniversary of their library meet is surrounded by the sound of music. People raise their hands into the air, Magnus with his torso painted in a swirl of colour and patterns, Alec with the same over his shirt.

Thousands upon thousands of people are singing with them, but Alec sings the loudest to Magnus, free as he swings his pride flag for millions over the world to see. He’s going to be an open, gay man in the world of sport, and Magnus couldn’t be prouder.

The chorus builds, the bass feeling like thunder under their skin, and as Alec and Magnus sing the lyrics, they stare at each other.

_ “But with you, I feel something real.”  _ Alec places a hand on Magnus’ cheek,  _ “And I’d walk a million miles, just to see you smile.” _

And as the build up reaches the climax, Alec pulls him in to kiss him as the confetti reaches up, people jumping around them as the summer heat of Miami beams down on them.

They’re surrounded by people, but their only focus is on each other.

As Alec pulls back, their smiles are the brightest they’ve ever been, and Magnus can’t help but kiss him again, just as people start to cheer them on around them.

_ \- - - - - _

Graduation arrives quicker than Magnus expected. His life seemed slow, uneventful until Alec seemingly stumbled into his life, and he’ll keep using that joke until it doesn’t make him smile anymore.

Chances are, it won't.

“Morning,” Alec mumbles into his hair, kissing him softly as he moves down to his cheek, then to his lips as Magnus slowly awakens. “Happy graduation day, science man.”

“Shut up,” Magnus yawns as he pushes Alec away, both of them laughing as Alec wraps his arms around him, keeping him close. “I was sleeping.”

“We didn’t do much of that last night,” Alec teases, smug as he grins. “Besides, we have to go see Maia and Izzy, they want to decorate our hats or something.”

Magnus turns to him, hand to Alec’s chest. “They do?” Alec shrugs, and his smile isn’t hiding anything. “What are you hiding, Lightwood?”

“I didn’t say anything.” Alec looks away, but Magnus brings him back, kisses him as he pulls him back down.

“Then they won’t say anything if I steal you for another hour.”

“An hour?” Alec gasps as he pulls back, clicking his tongue. “I’m a swimmer, but you’re literally my weakness.”

“Stop being cheesy and kiss me.”

\- - - - -

When their caps fly into the sky, Maia and Isabelle’s decorations are shown to the world. Alec’s cap shows the pride flag, and Magnus’ shows the bi flag, and they graduate University open to the world, holding hands for what feels like a wild journey they’ll never forget.

The text on the caps read  _ Library Guy 1  _ and  _ Library Guy 2  _ respectively.

They turn to each other as the cameras flash, Maryse and the rest of Alec’s family cheering them on. Catarina and Luke are there too, crying because despite what’s been thrown at Magnus, he’s made it.

They’re both going to chase their dreams, one day at a time,  _ together. _

_ “I love you, Magnus,”  _ Alec whispers that night as Magnus holds on, emotions running high as they can’t keep their hands off each other.  _ “I love you more than I can ever say.” _

_ “I love you too, Alexander.” _

It’s the first time they’ve said it, their first time together like that, and it won’t be the last either.

_ \- - - - - _

> _ I said I loved you for the first time. I’ve been saying it before, hidden in the way I smile, the necklace I bought you with a wave after I won my first big trophy during that final year. You were everything to me, my good luck charm, my best friend, my one and only love I’ve ever had. _
> 
> _ I’m more than lucky to call you my boyfriend, and I remember stumbling over my words the first time I said it. All you did was smile and kiss me, saying you like the sound of it, and then my life skipped twenty years to the future, where I wished that I’d still be yours, and you’d still be mine. _
> 
> _ But then the news came, and it felt like I was going to lose you. _

“I got it, Alexander!” Magnus says, running into their new, shared apartment to jump into Alec’s waiting, confused arms.

“What?” He says, placing Magnus down as he waves the opened letter in front of his face.

“I got accepted into further study!”

> _ I didn’t sleep that night. Not because I wasn’t happy, I was ecstatic for you. In fact, I think we didn’t intend on sleeping because you were so happy, and you wanted to celebrate it with me. Of all people, you spent that night with me, and I never let you go, even though I knew I had to. _
> 
> _ I had to stay here, to watch the world go by and train to get scouted. A few days after you moved out, and I kissed you goodbye, cried at the airport that I couldn’t take that first step on your dream with you, I was scouted. _
> 
> _ You rang me, you said you wished you were there to celebrate with me, but I was honestly just so proud of you because you were already making miles of achievements at your new degree already. _
> 
> _ I worked hard, kept my mind off you by training harder than I ever have. I knew if I made it, I’d be able to see you again, to be alongside you when you reach those heights you told me about during our nights together. _
> 
> _ You’re probably thinking why I’ve written this letter, why I couldn’t text you, but then I remember how we met. We met in a place filled with knowledge, of stories, history, and I wanted to make a piece of that -- of us.  _
> 
> _ You’re part of my story, my journey in believing I deserve love even when my own father couldn’t change, and now, he’s even smiling at me, he’s proud of me for who I am. _
> 
> _ You made that happen. You made me happy. _
> 
> _ That playlist you made me during my final year, I still listen to it before every race, before every battle I’m about to face. You said it would calm me if my mind focused on something other than the thing that’s making me nervous, but I was thinking of you while listening to it, not the music itself. _
> 
> _ Every lyric reminded me of you, in some way, our memories and possibly our future.  _
> 
> _ I love you so much, Magnus, more than I ever thought possible. Every time I see your name on the news I have this glee inside me, because I’m so proud to say I love you, and that you love me back. You’re truly changing the world, and in the process, you changed me, but not in a negative way. _
> 
> _ You allowed me to be who I’ve always wanted to be. Happy. Loved. Chasing my dreams as everyone hopes to do as a kid. Even when you ripped my jacket, I couldn’t be mad, because the next day you had it fixed and demanded I take it back. _
> 
> _ I didn’t. You still have it, and I’ve already said that. _
> 
> _ I’m rambling in a letter, too. I don’t know why you put up with me, sometimes. _
> 
> _ I’m going to have to wait at least a week or two to hear your reply to this, but it’s been eating away at me for so long. _
> 
> _ The year we’ve been apart is hell, Magnus. We’re together, but you’re so far away, and you’re happy and helping the world as you wanted to as a kid, but I can’t be there with you while I’m here. Even Maia knows how miserable I’ve been, and I couldn’t stop you from achieving your dream, as selfish as I wanted to be. _
> 
> _ But I’m also writing this letter to tell you the good news. I got it today, as I’m writing this. _
> 
> _ I made it to the World Championships, and the other letter that says ‘read second’ are your tickets to come see me. I don’t know if you’ll be able to make it, with you saving the world and all, but I’d like you to be there. _
> 
> _ And that box? You can open it if you want, or you can wait until you see me, if you do. _
> 
> _ It’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you, I don’t know when I started to think of it, but it’s inevitable that I do now, and it makes me happy to think of the possibility. _
> 
> _ But I’m impatient to ask, so please, open it. Imagine I’m there, because I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to ask with how busy our lives are, but I want to. _
> 
> _ You were the part of my life I didn’t know was missing, and I want to be with you until the very end. I can’t be without you anymore. _
> 
> _ Magnus Bane, or smart handsome library guy, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me? _

_ \- - - - - _

_ PRESENT DAY _

Alec doesn’t search the crowds, he drowns out the noise and the biting hope that Magnus is sitting amongst the thousands of other attendees to the event. His headphones are in, playing the playlist that’s now two years old, yet still feels fresh in his mind.

This is what he’s been training for, excelled at, and now he has a chance to be the best of the best, just like Magnus.

It’s not a competition, never has been, but Magnus drives him to improve, to be a better person and not to shy away from  _ wanting  _ to achieve.

So when the starting sound pierces the air, the roaring crowd cuts off as soon as Alec dives in, surrounded in a pool of blue, each arm reaching forward for a future he wants badly, more than he’s ever wanted before.

His lungs are burning by the time his hand slams against the platform wall, 500m done in record time, and he’s holding his breath as he shakes his head, rinsing the water from his eyes as he pulls his swimming cap from his head.

Alec dreads to see he’s been beaten, but the silence around him is deafening. It’s not until he turns to see the other swimmers just finishing that the sudden adrenaline rushes through him, making him turn  _ again _ towards the board with selected times attached to names.

He’s about to roar in celebration, but his heart drops when he sees something he’s wanted more than a title.

Magnus Bane, standing there, hand raised with the ring Alec and Maia picked out on his wedding finger, crying with his hand over his mouth.

He’s here. He’s not a dream.

Alec pushes himself from the water, dropping his goggles and his mask, sprinting past all of his team, not caring that the officials call him back, that the other swimmers still haven’t finished.

Magnus runs to him, and Alec can’t care, neither of them do when they collide, and Alec absolutely soaks him.

_ “Magnus,”  _ Alec’s tears fall freely, gripping Magnus so tightly he fears he’ll crush him, but Magnus is doing the same.  _ “You’re here, you’re really here.” _

He can hear Magnus crying too, and he can’t help but kiss him as they break from the hug. The crowd now cheers for a different reason.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here.” Magnus speaks, holding Alec’s face as their foreheads touch. “And I do-- I’ll marry you, if you’ll marry me.”

“Yes,  _ god yes.”  _ Alec kisses him again, and finally, he feels at peace again, the grace of his steps returning as he picks him up, spins him round.

“Library guy to husband, I’d say that’s an upgrade,” Magnus teases, pushing Alec’s sodden hair back against his head. 

Alec doesn’t know what to say, his heart singing so loudly that he tips his head back, smiles, cheers with Magnus as their joined family runs towards them.

And Magnus? He believes in love again, believes in soulmates, because now he’s found his one and only.

Alec may have won the Championship, but Alec feels as if he’s won the world. He’s going to marry the love of his life, the library guy he saw through the gap in those books four years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, jay!
> 
> You can find me [@oceantlde!](https://twitter.com/oceantlde)  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
